Saturday, October 8, 2011

A (not so) brief rambling.

Welcome, S&Pers, welcome.

Thank you for coming to visit and enjoy our little pub, even though there hasn't been too much 'new stuff' to see, hear or ponder. So much work, so little time...

I finally had some time to come hang out at the S&P myself tonight, and wanted to just wax philosophical for a moment. No pics, no distractions, just my thoughts.

Don't worry, you can still listen to the music and the old radio -- never mind me, I'm just holding up the bar and thinking about Hallowe'en, and our devotion to it, and the remarkable restorative power of Autumn and Hallowe'en in our often busy, topsy-turvy lives.

As I've mentioned previously, this year I haven't had nearly the time to produce the kind of Hallowe'en display I normally do, and while part of me is truly panicked, I mostly feel sort of resigned and happy.

I know, weird, right?

But if you think about it logically, the panic is truly needless. I can't change the situation, and it's not like I'm not going to have a display filled with amazing homemade figures no one else in the world has, doing goofy things and being cool and spooky on Hallowe'en night -- so what if all my plans can't be accomplished? I still have a singing skeleton quartet. Two comical pirates and a raven straight-man.

My beloved Great Pumpkin, for the love of All Hallow's.

Maybe I'll have to just rehash last year's routines. Maybe I'll have to stick to a few songs and a few jokes and leave it at that.

Maybe I'll just put out everything, let it run until it all collapses.

Or maybe I'll just carve a gigantic jack o'lantern and set it in an empty yard with a big candle and a glass of wine and simply say 'I DO THIS FOR MY UNDYING LOVE OF THE SINGLE GREATEST NIGHT OF THE YEAR AND NOTHING I CAN OR CAN'T FINISH CHANGES ANYTHING."

Because how can life be difficult, how can I be sad, if there's still going to be an October 31st? The entire day will still feel as beautifully different as it has since I was a little child. The sunlight, the clouds, the air, everything will still be Hallowe'en.

And why should I compare what I do with what anyone else does, and find myself wanting? If all I ended up doing come the 31st is decorating inside with my family and friends, and running a few routines on the Pumpkin and playing a few DVDs, I would be just as happy, this year.

But the real point for me is this:

D'you know why we Autumn People 'do' Hallowe'en the way we do? With the passion, the magic, the fire for it, year after year after blessed year?


You, me, them, everyone who makes Hallowe'en... we are Hallowe'en.

It is us, we are it. There is no Hallowe'en without us.

Ponder it for a bit.

Rather than feel like we've let some external celebration pass us by, or that we've let someone or something down by not being able to give it everything we have before, we need to know that it's internal, that anything we do to celebrate Hallowe'en is in itself the prime creation of Hallowe'en.

We connect with the beauty of Autumn's leaves, the sun, the rain, the light and the dark, the smells and sounds and sights of our most loved Night, and that is the restorative power, the magic, the renewal, right there: we can always make it because we are made of it.

Ah, well... I ramble.

But if I somehow cannot do everything I thought would be cool, then I choose, here and now, to not only not beat myself up over it, but to laugh and enjoy the fact that life got in my way so much that it made me see the true depth of my love for Hallowe'en... and therefore my love for myself.

To just learn that lesson.

To just relax and be the Hallowe'en that I am.

Well... we'll see what happens, but I know one thing:

I'm alive to see another October 31st. And that's an excellent, excellent thing.

I propose a big toast -- to all of us who are not just Hallowe'en Makers, but who realize we are Hallowe'en itself.