Oh, we could use some tunes. Mr. Chicken, could you hit the jukebox for us? There, thank you kindly.
I always wonder where that guy's shouting from...
Anyway, this afternoon I had occasion to run a few errands and spend some quality time with my nephew (and Godson), Young Will. No, that's not a joke Chinese name, it's just what I call him. A fine, proper, colonial-type-address for a fine young man.
Well... since it's late August, wouldn't you know it? HALLOWE'EN STUFF is starting to appear!
Now, any halfway respectable Hallowe'en blog is going to be posting pictures and reviews of the year's new crop of goodies (it's what we love!). However, I realize most of us will be hitting most of the same places.
I know we all love seeing and reading each others' All Hallow's shopping adventures, to be sure.
But I don't want to just rehash what others have already done, covering ground others will likely have already covered (and probably better).
Yet I realize one thing I have that no one else does.
So to help me review, display and enjoy the spooky store stuff this All Hallow's Shopping Season, I have engaged the services of my nephew, who is more than happy to oblige. Eager, even.
Today, we were at Michaels.
It started with over-sized glasses. It always does.
Then, the rest of the felt and foam half-mask menagerie:
The vampire makes him look a bit like Emeril. Or Corey Feldman.
Is it a ghost smiling? Or a ghost with a Snidely Whiplash mustache?
Then, Young Will and I marveled at the phrase --
It rolls off the tongue. It conjures thoughts of... well, melting beads.
Even in French.
Young Will then began to giggle at a set of erasers:
"Is the blood really necessary?"
"Why, d'you think it's too gory?"
"Why, d'you think it's too gory?"
"No -- it's just that those teeth couldn't possibly draw blood."
He's a funny little man, Young Will.
In the paper crafts section, he donned this mask (he donned of the dead?):
All I could think of was that great episode of The Twilight Zone... you know the one.
So, the talk turned to skulls.
Without a doubt one of the worst foam skulls ever, especially for $6.
Young Will was unsure as well:
But in the end he decided it suited him fine.
Until he found the skull he really loved:
Of course, there are hundreds of other Hallowe'en 'boo'-dads at Michaels, and Young Will took his time exploring and wondering.
Somehow, this terrifyingly purple, horrifyingly shimmery feline made a bed of
Young Will's head. This caused our hero no end of bemusement.
A less welcome bit of fluffy danger made itself known, but didn't actually cause more than a momentary lapse of Hallowe'en bravery -- happens to the best of us.
The spider subdued, Young Will set his sight skyward, whereupon a circling omen of brooding doom descended to his shoulder. It was not singing about baby bumble bees (and I was so hoping).
... the vulture was replaced by a giant, thrashing vampire bat!
I would've thought it a fruit bat or simple insectivore, but look at those teeth.
The bat's, not Young Will's.
His nerves shaken, the boy turns his attention to the smaller, cuter fauna of the October Country...
... thinking them to be safer, kinder, cuddlier.
... a seemingly harmless arachnid speared his pipe-cleaner fangs into Young Will's all-too-unwary finger!
For a moment, I beheld in his countenance an odd unease, a behavior unbidden, an omen of the madness that would soon overtake him.
Glittery garland, the broom, and that face. I was fearful for his sanity.
Then, for a short moment, all seemed as before... until he saw it.
Heck, I stared.
A Hallowe'en butterfly.
A black butterfly.
A black Hallowe'en butterfly with an orange glitter spider web on it.
A glittery orange spider-webbed black butterfly.
A HALLOWE'EN BUTTERFLY.
I didn't know what to think. My mind was racing to scour some path through the well-worn detritus of my experience, trying to forge some answer to this imponderable without losing my grip on reality.
I held fast, and the spasm left me.
You see, I was old enough.
I had been through the age of Ben Cooper's Rubik's Cube, Asteroids,
Gabe Kaplan and Chuck Barris costumes for children.
I had been through school plays about pink ghosts.
I had missed a Hallowe'en because of chicken pox.
I had been through this and more and lived, my mind intact.
But poor Young Will?
His sense of the world crumbled in his first musing...
... and he finally, bafflingly, dizzyingly lost his mind.
In chains, I had to lead him out of the store and to a magazine rack where awaited to soothe his broken mind titles like Yu-Gi-Oh, Shonen Jump, and RPG cards. He sighed and smiled.
He is alright.
Please be sure to visit over this Hallowe'en shopping season. Young Will, once he's fully recovered, will be on hand for each and every one of our adventures.
You don't really want to miss any of it, do you?
Especially if you don't want me to torture you with...