Saturday, October 2, 2010

"Gummy Face, I love you,

Gummy Face, I need you!"

With apologies to Donna Fargo for sullying her '72 hit, I present for your shivery perusal an incredible gift I just received yesterday -- the opaque, gelatinous terror known as Gummy Face:
"Oh, I think it's cute, he reminds me of ..." *slap!* WRONG! He's the single most terrifying gift I've received in a long time, perhaps my entire life. Just LOOK at it!
It would be less disturbing to me if it were just a rubber face, one of those silicon stick-to-the-wall throwing toys, but it's a gummy item. It's EDIBLE, which adds a wholly transcendent level of disgust for me. I'm not really a gummy candy guy, but little colorful bears or good ol' Swedish Fish are fine with me; this is that horrible opaque, gummy horror that has always reminded me of the melting flesh from The Devil's Rain (especially in fleshtone like this!).

It would also be less disturbing if it didn't remind me of so many other odd things...


I think this one is spot on.

Yep. Pretty uncanny.

It's not that I don't appreciate the gift -- anything that makes me giggle and cringe in terror is a good thing.

But I won't be eating it.

I'm thinking that if I left it in its packaging (do gummies go bad? Is that a new reality show?), it will shrink down to a dark, hard little face... that I can then put in a bowl of water and watch grow over 600x its size like those other weird toys:

Gummy Face, you are candy, toy and traumatizing demon in one stark, scary little package.

And it looks like he was made from



  1. I can almost hear the gummy face trying to hynotize Joan.



  2. HAHA! Dr. Mondo... the single greatest application of Hugo in history -- "JOAN!"